Ryder’s rumours put to bed
There is nothing juicier for the cricket news desk than a Jesse Ryder/alcohol scandal. So the outlets were all over this story as soon as it started to emerge. But when the only reported details are rumours that Jesse was “restrained by security guards”, it sounds like someone is letting their sordid imagination fill in the gaps.
To get the details of this scandal, I have gone to the only on-the-ground source I know of, the Fake IPL Player, and veracity be damned. According to IPL Anonymous:
A few days ago I had introduced you to the blooming romance between Bevdaa and Panty Curry. The other night, the two had a few too many. Panty, with better capacity, managed to walk through the door. Bevdaa lost balance, tripped over, almost crash landed on 2 very scared nubile beings, eventually landed face down on the marbled floor. Security helped him up and out.
Bevdaa is of course Jesse, and Panty Curry is a guy called van Wyk. Bevdaa, quite appropriately, means ‘drunk’. Panty Curry probably has some self-evident meaning, but I’m not sure I want to dwell on it too much.
So anyway, Jesse’s run in with security amounted to him being helped to his room by a security guard to sleep off a big night. Somewhat confirmed by later reports. Reading these reports you would think Ryder was drinking to celebrate 100 days of sobriety. Previous posts by IPL Anonymous suggest he wasn’t getting through those 100 days as smoothly as we’d like to think:
Bevdaa has found a soulmate in our very own (sometimes opener, sometimes wk) Panty Curry. They have been bonded by their shared love for bottled beverages. Short of holding hands, the two fat asses seem every bit like a puppy couple in love. And if the number of bottles one can down decides the man in a relationship, our Panty Curry definitely wears the pants in that family. Surprising, but true!
May 12th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Panty curry may be Robin Uthappa not VanDyk (who’s he btw?)
May 12th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Panty curry may be Robin Uthappa not VanDyk (who’s he btw?)
Interesting. I was assuming IPL Anonymous was referring to KKR when he said “our Panty Curry”. It would make more sense if Jesse was hanging out with a mate from his own team.
May 12th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Is there some kind of Fake IPL player glossary online somewhere, do you reckon. I think I’m missing out on most of the comedy, eh.
May 12th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
Panty Curry is Robin Uthappa, not Van Wyk.. he’s talking abt the BRC camp there..
May 13th, 2009 at 12:03 am
Pandy curry I assume is Uthappa’s favorite curry, him being a Coorgie and all.
May 16th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Even if we can’t agree on the identity of Panty Curry, I’m sure we can all agree that it’s a great name.
May 16th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
Assuming ‘Panty Curry’ is Uthappa (who comes from the Coorg district of Karnataka – a region not known for producing cricketers), this is where the nickname originates from:
http://mbopaiah.wordpress.com/2007/06/07/coorg-pork-curry-pandi-curry/
May 17th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
[...] the comments of my previous post, my identification of the player nicknamed Panty Curry by the fake IPL player, Jesse [...]