Crucket

Why isn’t Shoaib Akhtar touring New Zealand? It’s rather hard to keep up with the endless series of speedhumps Akhtar hits in his career. I rather have the suspicion that it is merely an injury that is keeping him out of the team this time, not chucking or drugs or fighting or insubordination or genital warts.

However, Shoaib’s mundane fitness excuse wasn’t going to last for that much longer, so he had to contrive something new. In a seemingly desperate attempt to miss the tour to Australia, he got himself some liposuction. Seriously. Secretly too, though I don’t know how he was going to disguise the fact that he had lost 12 kg overnight.

Really, no one could have dreamed this up except Shaoib himself. It’s hard to even comment on it, in my case because I am laughing so much I can barely type, Cricket with Balls can’t do the story justice, the Bored Indians have to say it without words.

It’s going to take him 5 months to recover but the PCB are so incensed that he did it without informing them that his chances of every playing again are slim. He will be missed for everything he has brought to cricket.